Crisis, looming. Must.avert.now

Okay, people. I’m really starting to stress now. Is it grad school? No. Finding a place to live? Non. Leaving my family far far behind? Negatory, good buddy. You know what’s freaking me out? I still haven’t… Taken the elevator up to the Sundial,Seen Blondie at the Clermont Lounge, Eaten fried chicken at Watershed, Or [...]

Hungover re-cap poetry

Katie is a fabulous cook. I like red wine too much.5:30 is fucking early. My hair is wet.I love Eddie Izzard.Le singe est sur la branche.I want to learn French. Jenny is funny. I want to move back to England. Transvestites mostly fancy birds.My clients are stupid.My coworkers amuse me.I’m moving to Tucson. This poem [...]

One day soon

I will say, to whoever asks, that I had a niece once. She had skin the color of a caffè latte, and mischievous brown eyes. She had her mother’s Cupid’s bow and her father’s temperament, and though I barely knew her, I loved her. I will tell them she was born the day after [...]

My heart. It hurts.

I don’t have the words to explain right now, so I’m posting someone else’s. When I find a way to talk about it, I’ll use my own. I am in Mobile now and my cell phone is nearly dead. I can’t talk, but will be home soon.  I’ll be okay. I know it. The calls, I appreciate them. I’ll return [...]

Open letter to Luke Perry

Luke, Luke, Luke. I don’t even know to what to say, man. I’m sad. Just sad. I can’t say that I’ve really followed your career over the years. Or that, in general, I care very much for the lives or the looks of celebrities. However, I had hit a wall at work today, and since [...]

Travelblog: Mobile, Alabama

This post should serve as evidence that I survived my first night back home. In true me form, it has been nothing short of – well – boring by anyone else’s standards.
Here’s where I am right now:

As I was dashing out the door yesterday, I noticed an open bottle of red wine on my kitchen [...]

Baby deliciousness: Lorrie and Adam produced a human being!

See these beautiful people? They’re awesome. What’s more, they just triplicated their awesomeness in human being form. Observe: [To be fair, I had a hard time photographing the adorable little creature. This photograph makes me think he passed out at a rave. I'm still figuring out my digital camera, is all I can [...]

I’m a little bit ashamed

And yet, posting this anyway. This link is so politically incorrect. But parts of it are genuinely funny. You decide which is which. A take-off on Wikipedia, and a series of slams on my impending new home… Uncyclopedia: Tucson, Arizona One particularly choice bit: “The University of Arizona, located in the heart of Tucson, is [...]

Distinct job possibilities

I love altweeklies. For look what Tucson Weekly’s “Employment” section brought me today. One job listing for: NICE OLDER GENTALMAN55, seeks sexy young female 21-35, for nude conversations. Call anytime after 2pm. 881-1577  I guess technically this is ‘employment,’ but good Lord. For the record, how precisely is this nasty old man supposed [...]

Lest you forget

I’m driving home in a few weeks, and have been thinking about the Gulf and my family a great deal. Which is perhaps why I noticed this NY Times article, which is interesting to me for so many reasons. 100-Ton Symbols of a Recovery Still Suspendedby Dan Barry It made me think about Bubba from [...]